Dr. Jamie Bondage

This was good. You need to work on your transistions. It's a bit choppy, but I think it's good. More description, don't repeat words or ideas. Since this is just ...

This seemed really choppy to me. I loved the idea behind it, but I couldn't get into the song. it was really short. the ideas and verses didn't flow. Just ...

Ryan: I laughed. "You have unusual punishments." I grinned. I was liking this. I threw her into the pool and watched her splash around laughing.

Aurora: I sighed and kissed him. "I love you, colt. I canzt imagine myself without you." I looked up at him.

Um...besides ethics, this seemed more like a poem to me than a song. I felt the rythem...but like a poem. Idk. It was good well written, but I couldn't get ...

Ryan: I mock growled. "What is my punishment this time?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

Ryan: I smiled and kissed her lips. Then I dunked her under the water, scrambling out of the water and laughing, waiting for her.

Aurora: I smiled and blushed. "Why would you have to do that?" I asked surprised. I really wasn't that beautiful. I was just a normal girl. "No one would notice ...

I love it Teddy. Except for the first word. *coughs and raises an eyebrow* What happened to my sweet innocent Teddy? I'm just joking. I liked it. Keep up the ...

Aurora: I smiled up at him. "Pizza?" I asked. It was nearing the afternoon anyways. I felt rediculous in my bathing suit, but I had no other choice. I sighed ...

I love this! So smooth and good! XD I really like it! Keep writing! Can't wait to read more.

Aurora: I giggled and kissed him passionately. I sighed. "He's my brother. Of course I'm going to worry about him." I flashed a grin. "What are we going to eate" ...

Name: Aren Age: 20 Eyes: Steel blue with specks of grey in them. Appearance: Tall around 6', tanned from hours out in the sun, huge muscles from working. Black hair. ...

This seemed choppy to me. Like it didn't flow. But maybe it does. XD I liked the emotion behind it. well written. keep up the good work!

Aurora: I shivered at the touch of his arms around me. I smiled and nodded. "Yes, thank you. Did you sleep well?" I asked, twisting around and pressing my lips ...